Slow Down, You'll Get There Faster

Three weeks ago yesterday I suffered the worst, or at least the most gruesome, injury I have ever sustained. Considering the extensive list of calamity this body has endured, broken bones, torn muscle and ligaments, ripped and shredded flesh, the top of the heap is a bit of a climb. Amazing how fast that ascent is made though. In the slip of a step and the blink of an eye.

There is a Baz Luhrmann song I am very fond of and a line from it echoes through my head with a profound ring as I recall a moment just before my life changed, "Don't worry about the future, or worry but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday." Well, I am very seldom idle due to the constant calculations in my "worried mind", and it was a Wednesday at 10:30am as I stood below a rickety ladder just before opening time at Enjoy but a blindside the likes I hadn't seen since my father was murdered when I was 19 awaited just a few steps skyward.

There I was, buzzing around the building like a bee cleaning and setting up a lighting system I had hoped to test at Enjoy's noon yoga class. Which was still over an hour away and the mid week resting point for my over active brain. Why I was in such a hurry to slow down I still can't quite grasp. Must be the snow ball affect of a 34 year over achieving decent towards death. Barreling down the mountain greedily grabbing everything life had to offer. Never seeing from an outside perspective all I had collected and the speed with which it now carried me. How slippery the slope and how abruptly the ride could end. BOOM, there I was, stopped! It lasted but a split second, the freezing of time. Suspended in disbelief. Like a humming bird that ceases it's frenzied flutter feeling the horrifying affects of gravity for the first time. I fell, dropping out of the cluttered confines of my mind. The weight of the world slipping away momentarily to leave but one clear thought, I want to live!

Enjoy is a life style center started as a means to bring direction into my existence. Though, instead of being a cure for mania it only has served to focus that idle energy and send me speeding off in one direction as opposed to burning holes in the earths crust from the circles I relentlessly spun.

The lights I had been arranging had power cords that needed to be hidden in the drop down ceiling en route to a junction box also hidden in the ceiling where it opens out over Enjoy's mini ramp. There is a mobile wooden fun box made for skating that sits flush next to the ramp. Up to this point I only needed to reach the cords from the height of the ceiling, moving it one tile at a time toward the junction box which could be reached through an open section created to accommodate the ramp and the head room needed to skate it. With only one tile separating the cable from the box all I had to do was reach in through the open section to grab it. Though in order to achieve the necessary height the already unstable ladder had to be placed on the fun box. Not a problem. The box is a 4x8 ft rectangle that would easily accommodate, if it had been moved just a few inches. Though in it's current location the ladder had to be placed precariously close to the edge in order to reach into the ceiling far enough. Sizing up the situation my cranium quickly cracked off a few cock-eyed calculations backing up my belief that with my balance and dexterity I need not take even a moment to rearrange for more stability. I mean, what's the worst that could happen, I fall? I did that for a living for years, piece of cake.

So, as expected, climbing too high and leaning too far caused the later to shift and without even a fraction of an inch to give that ladder slid off of the box and took me with it. Also as expected the fall landed me square on both feet nimble as a cat. The unexpected part was the little hidden screw that kept a large chunk of my arm meat for it's trouble(the left over slab resembling a chicken cutlet is pictured to the right). This i did not realize until what looked like a full cup of blood had been dumped onto my feet and the floor around them, "how odd. Why would someone leave a perfectly good glass of blood hanging about in the ceiling?!" Unfortunately for me they hadn't. It was MY liquid of life plummeting like a red waterfall. Following the cascade to the source I looked up to see not just blood but muscle, fat and bone hanging out of a canyon sized hole. It was easily the most mortifying thing I had ever seen first hand, disbelief! This MUST be a dream, that can't be MY arm, I can't be seeing straight! Frozen by fright. No time for denial now though, something MUST be done about my tricep hanging out of my body and the steady flow of blood so horrifically framing it. I just wanted it to go away, to wake up from the nightmare. In the passing of milliseconds rational thought sends my right hand in aid of my left arm, to catch my muscle should it not still be connected, to shove what was left back into my arm if need be. Covered in fiberglass from the ceiling insulation I quickly realize my hand fails to qualify as a suitable safety net. What I needed was some sort of tourniquet and fast.

Enjoy opens at 11am so I was still a good half hour from the hope of any assistance showing up. I had a car but how much damage had I done? Could I bleed to death? Would I make it driving? Should I call an ambulance and hope they made it there in time? These thoughts jockeying for position as I ran for my shirt laying on the counter at the front of the shop. Using my mouth and fiberglass covered hand I fashioned a tourniquet from my excess clothing. Pulling it as tight as my teeth would allow. This bandage made time for my brain to form semi-clear thought. I looked down at the mat by the front door envisioning myself dying in a pool of blood while waiting on a 911 rescue. Iphone earbuds already in place I reach up to voice dial my mother while grabbing my car keys from the office wall, that coincidentally hung from one of those hateful little screws. No time for grudges now though, I've got a life to save.

Mindful enough to lock the front door as I head for my car, mom in my ear directing me as to which hospital to meet she and my step father, Dallas. Direction, check! Now I need a copilot. Since Jesus and his pops are hard to get on the horn I reached out for a mortal connection. Ginny King, a close, calm, understanding and reliable friend, via the phone she accompanied me on my journey, making sure I was talking and aware as my arms went numb and blue dots filled my eyes.

At the emergency room drive through my mother was waiting outside as I pulled up. She parked the car while I strolled in covered in blood with my shirt holding back my blood and innards. Dallas had already informed the staff of the situation so there was no waiting involved. For the first time ever I was actually rushed in to be seen. It didn't take long for the ER doctor to decide he didn't want to deal with the mess. He took one step into the room, had me lift my arm to show him what we were working with. He nodded and walked out. I was shipped off to surgery shortly there after. The photo to the left shows the gap my surgeon had to close. Apparently it is normal to dump large amounts of blood from a hole that size. The main artery was exposed but not severed, lucky me. Not that i remember any of the process. I was anesthetized you see. A dreamless black curtain protected me from the conclusion of this horror story. However the tale doesn't end there. I got to sleep through the surgery but was left with a "to be continued" wrapped around my arm. I fell asleep with a gaping wound and awoke to a bandage that had to stay put for two days. Talk about suspense! What the hell was under there!?

As it turns out Dr Rooney must have been a damn fine surgeon. Humpty Dumpty might want to give him a call next time he goes tumbling off a wall. He hemmed me up with nineteen staples and didn't even have to barrow any of my ass meat to do so. There will undoubtedly be a disfiguring scar but all my function is still intact. This frees me up to get back to barreling down the mountain at the same pace I left off at. My only hope is with that big a reminder of the perils of impatience, I won't!